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Ring up the late night T.V commercial's to get an 'insta-dad' delivered to your door. Insta-Dad is great for fulfilling the gap left by an [incompetent] or missing dad and is a great present for Christmas. Insta-dad never gets angry at you for [smoking weed] and does your homework at the same time as [cooking dinner]. Comes with 30 Day Money Back Guarantee. Whats it to you?'s defintion is also quite acceptable and funny.
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