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YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM 'SAUGA WHEN... 1.Your schools put more money and funding into sports teams than your education. 2.You can't find anyone 15 or younger on aSaturday night because they are all at Club 108. 3.You consider 5 & 10 (Hurontario and Dundas) "the ghetto."You or your friend has been considered a hoe just for living here. 4.St. Joes [Secondary School] is called "St. Hoes" for its [prostitution] in the 90's and its high pregnancy rate. You're so proud because Fito Blacko, Kobra Khan,and Kardinal Offishall came from Mississauga. 5.Your parents refuse to drive you to Malton because it's the "bad area". 6.The 24-hour [convenience store] just closed 20minutes ago. 7.[The first thing] you plan on doing once you getout of school is leaving Mississauga. 8.No matter where you are in Mississauga, you know how to get to Square One. 9.When [out of towners] ask what you do inMississauga for fun,you respond by telling them that you go downtown. 10.On a Friday night, every Tim Hortons is packed with over 100 people and their sick cars. because everyone is too afraid of going outside of Mississauga in fear that their ride will be stolen. 11.No matter how nice you are to them, Scarborough people still hate you. 12.Brampton people say you live in the Boonies. 13.Scarborough people say you live in the Boonies. 14.AJAX people say you live in the Boonies. 15.In your old highschool, there was a camera watching you every 15 feet. 16.If you're under 19, have a criminal record, no future or if you're just stupid as a fuck, the only highschool that will take you is west credit 17.If there's beef, you will travel 2 miles down stations, [over the bridge], behind the tree with [200] people following you, just to settle it. 18.You have been kicked out of Square One by security for being [the following] races: Black, Asian, brown, Hispanic and Arab. 19.The Mississauga News posts articles featuring the new sign on Creditview and Eglington because Mississauga is too boring to come up with a real story. 20.You take 3 right turns and you back where you started. 21.You drive down Mississauga Road and fantasize about living in a house with a 5-car garage. 22.No matter how broke you are, Brampton and Scarborough people will still comment on how rich you are. 23.When Hazel McCallion is more popular than Jesus himself. 24.You've been on a bus for over an hour getting to a place that is 15 minutes away
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