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An anal [anti-inflammatory] [preparation]. For internal use only. Guidelines for [application]: 1) Apply liberally to nose of any friend (NB: for best results, use Jew) 2) Perform wombat. Carefully and silently spread scrotum on forehead of friend, and lower anus onto waiting Anusoothe. Repeat every four hours until pain is gone, or until friend/Jew wakes up, whichever is the sooner.
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