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Also referred to as "charvers" and "wankers", chavs make no decisions as lone people. They only work in packs of "chav-tastic herds". They first developed as a species around three years ago, and since have reproduced ferociously to become the most common form of human scum in the UK. To witness the shocking effects of this wave of filth, go to any town centre, street or bus shelter between the hours of 5pm and 9pm. After 9pm, [the streets] become safe again as the chavs are called in by their parents to go to bed. "Rock hard chavs", indeed. Chavs are [distinguished] by the brands Fred Perry, Burberry and especially Berghaus. Beware! Chavs think that these brands are awesome and that trousers are meant to be tucked into their socks. If a fight with a chav seems likely, do not worry. There need to be about 20 chavs to equal man without sight, hearing and arms. It's also worth noting that if your reply to "I'll fucking spark [you out], you queer goth cunt" is "OK then.", they will likely run away. Their best-known hobbies are smoking, drinking (Lambrini) and shouting attempted insults at random strangers whom they could not actually hurt if [the stranger] stood still and the chav had a chainsaw. So, bravo chavs. You are now [OFFICIALLY] the scum of the world.

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