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1: A bastardised and relatively young language that is incredibly versatile and also sounds better than any other language when put to music. One of the advantages of the versatility of English and its' relative youth is the ability to absorb the best parts of other languages whilst ignoring the silly bits. French people are jealous of the [English language] because although theirs' sounds much sexier when spoken, it has a million stupid rules which the rest of the world has no patience for.

2: People born within England (not Britain or UK). A mongrel tribe of excessively agressive people who, not content with slaughtering the indiginous peoples of the [British Isles], took their agression on a worldwide mission brutally slaughtering and repressing peoples covering the entire globe (unless the french or spanish beat them too it, which was not often due to their laziness).
[English people] work longer hours than almost any other country in Europe (compensated for by alcoholism) and have a generally shitty [quality] of life, despite this they maintain an arrogant superiority which engenders hatred for them throughout the world (especially in Ireland, Scotland, & Wales). Although the British government is [responsible] for the island of Britain it is an essentially English government so any hatred towards the 'British' should be directed [first and foremost] at the English (rather than Welsh or Scottish).

3. Much the same as definition two, a cunning and deceitfull bastard that will smile at your face whilst planning to give you a right royal fucking (and not in a nice way). Also a nationalistic moron whose patron saint was a Roman Soldier from eatern Europe given to the English by their Norman masters, although the real patron saint of England (and stil of the royal Family) is Edward the Confessor - an Englishman!.

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