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the beatdown squad is the expression of a much sought after imaginary social service. according to common usage, this is how the beatdown squad functions:

person a decides that person b is a goon and decides that he needs to get a good beating. fortunately, he doesn't need to get ugly because there is a social service which caters to this social need.

thus, person a goes to a public phone and dials 1 800 beatdown to file a beatdown request of person b with the beatdown [officer] who handles [the phone call]. the beatdown officer carefully pre-evaluates the case asking all the pertinent questions which will be needed in the beatdown hearing of person b by the beatdown committee.

thereafter, the beatdown case is evaluated by the beatdown committee at the beatdown hearing and [the committee] either approves or rejects the case on its beatdown merits. if the case is approved, then [the committee] issues an official beatdown order and hands it over to the beatdown squad.

the beatdown squad is composed of enough individuals of the highest integrity and the skillset to beatdown any individual completely and safely. thus composed, the beatdown squad knocks on the door of person b, [officially] informs him on the issued beatdown order and gets his signature of beatdown concession.

thereafter person b is beatdown by the beatdown squad.

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