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The word "stoner" is commonly used to describe someone who smokes marijuana or hash on a regular basis. Stoners consider themselves to be friendly, fun-loving, non-judgemental, and harmless. Rarely mentioned, however, is how lazy, worthless, annoying, flakey, boring and unproductive a good 95% of them are. A common phrase used among stoners is "I don't need weed to have fun", yet strangely you never see them go a day without it.

Stoners, in their "[enlightened]" state, are the first to speak out against controversial issues and injustices but the very last to ever lift a finger over it. Most (but not all) tend to resemble the character Shaggy from the cartoon show Scooby Doo in either looks or general behaviour. A stoner will tell you how great a [sense of humor] he has, but usually laughs at things that are not truly that funny in a sober state of mind.

When confronted about their overall worthlessness, stoners vehemently deny that [smoking weed] makes them losers or hinders success in life. While some successful people DO indeed smoke marijuana, they are usually not actually stoners, meaning they partake only occassionaly and not as a lifestyle. The few stoners who ARE successful and live fulfilling lives are a rare breed, and not truly [representative] of what it is to be a stoner. Unbeknownst to them, there is a difference between a pot smoker and a full-out stoner.

If you are a stoner, you should be ashamed of yourself and extinguish your joint on your own exposed flesh [immediately]. Aim higher, get a [girlfriend], find a new hobby, and get a decent job. Then when you discover better things in life, you'll finally figure out why everyone looked down on you.

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