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A disease deriving from persons of [West Virginia] descent. The symptons include slurred speech, having [intercourse] with ones own family members, and the inability to function without liquor in their body. Major signs of progression of the disease include annoying everyone with tales of childhood in poverty and inability to function normally in society. If the diseased person or persons starts to hump [everything] in sight, the only medical recourse is to shoot them in the fuckin head and move on with your life, the disease has progressed too far.
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