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A sudden and violent sickness with the primary symptom being total liquification and elimination of the entire [intestinal] tract over a period of days. During ass flu the infected will experience defication with the consistency of burnt coffee every thirty minutes for at least three days. The accumulated stress will usually lead to an angy starfish with a peanut. Ass flu is almost always contracted by eating at buffet [restaurants] frequented by mobs of geriatrics; [Golden Coral], Fire Mountain Grill, or Luby's.
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