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Beautiful if congested British city, home to Oxford Brookes University and the somewhat older (c.1167) Thames Valley Polytechnic, also known as the [University of Oxford]. The UoO is the oldest university in the English-speaking world, and its early status as the only one also marks the last time it was at the top of the league tables. Currently placed at no.10 worldwide, it lags behind Cambridge in 2nd and eight others from the nouveau riche colonies.

Oxford has supplied the world with many of its leading politicians and lawyers, but despite this fact has somehow escaped global retribution. The sort of person who graduates from this university is perhaps best demonstrated by the fact that Jeffrey Archer had little trouble convincing people he was an Oxford man, although in fairness he was later found to be too conniving a little shit even for Oxfraud.

Currently run by a Kiwi, the [University of Oxford] enters the 21st Century much as it entered the 19th; with the sound of grumbling old men in leather chairs, some beautifully-manicured lawns and the eternal whiff of institutional [homosexuality].

Oxford is also famous for being a place preferable to St. John's College, Cambridge, a fact which marginally elevates Oxford but does Johns no favours whatsoever.

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