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Self stimulation. Having a date with Mrs. Palmer and her 5 slut daughters, Auditioning the hand puppet, Badgering the witness, Bashing the bishop, Beating the shit out of your [incapacitated] midget, Beating the snotty end of my fuck stick, Blueball baseball, Calling down for more Mayo, Calling in [the National Guard] to assist you in a strategic crisis, Caping the crusader, Cheating on your other hand, Checking the plumbing, [Choking the chicken], Tossing off, Trolling for the one-eyed walleye, Performing the tube sock tango, Wanking the white, Warming up the altar boy's dinner, White-water wristing etc. etc.
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