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a cleveland turndown refers to the rare but savory occasion when you find yourself at a female's apartment who you decide that [you don't want] to bone anymore after [originally] agreeing to come upstairs. Rather than embarass yourself by having sex with her or rejecting her to her face, you wait for her to leave the room while she changes/takes a shower/goes to the bathroom. When the [opportunity] presents itself, you carefully unmake her bead, take a huge shit, and then remake the bed just the way you found it. Feel free to wipe with her sheets, pillow cover, comforter, or whatever seems most degrading at the time (bath robe?). But make sure the wipe job is noticeable, so she can piece together your absence on her own. Make sure the rest of the room is just as you found it. Then run like hell and never talk to her again.
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