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Natives of a sunny country shaped like a boot which borders on the Mediterranean sea, [this country] was once the heart of the Roman Empire.  The modern Italian is the least appealing of the European peoples who combine natural criminal propensities with an attitude of slavish idolatry toward that Whore of Rome, the Pope.  A number of Italians have moved to the [United States] where they amuse themselves though [organized crime] and stuffing their grease faces with pasta at the Olive Garden.

When speaking, the Italians gesture frantically with their hands in an attempt to distract your gaze from their ugly
faces-upon which are clearly etched the marks of their moral and [intellectual] degeneracy.  They cannot stop stealing, and will sometimes go so far as to steal money that is rightfully theirs from the pockets of their own trousers even as they wear them. Worse yet, they rarely
catch themselves doing so.

Otherwise, they amuse themselves by kidnapping the neighbor's children, voting for Communists, and staying out on strike, where they've been since the 1940s. On the field of battle they are abject cowards, and in the kitchen they're enthralled with bruised tomatoes and
the noodle only.

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