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A drunkeness test that can be used on men, which is much cheaper than a breathaliser. All you need to do to judge how much he's had to drink is to get a girl with large boobs to ask him a [question] [and then] see how long it takes him to look up at her face and answer. 1 second is normal 2 seconds is about 3 pints 3 or more is [hammered]
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