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It’s 2026. The [financial advisor] you [vibe coded] promises a [432]% return, but before you buy the Cybertruck, you need the Calamari Ratio. Named for the legend Jim Simons, this will tell u if your bot is a Kraken (real math) or Fried Calamari (over-fitted garbage).

The Math (Without Formulas)
The Calamari Ratio is a three-way filter that kills your ego to save your capital:

CalamariRatio = (Meat) * (Grip) * (Polish)

Meat: Compound annual return / maximum drawdown— This is Return divided by Pain. If you made 400% but endured a 90% drawdown, your "meat" is tough and unpalatable. We want high yield with low risk.

Grip (n / n + k): A "Skepticism Tax" based on trade count (n). We compare your strategy to strategy_variance/market_variance (the Ink Factor). You need "tentacles" (volume) to prove the signal isn't just a lucky streak, cause when [the market] moves and the AI overfit the data, you're left with soggy fried Calamari

Polish (1 – |difference(CR_raw_halves)|/sum(CR_raw_halves) ): The final, hardened score. We rub the Raw meat against a Stationarity Test. If the [second half] of your trade history doesn't recognize the first, the "Polish" is lost and the score is crushed. Only consistent, stationary bots survive.

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