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retrograding the cakehole (verb) 1. To speak with such catastrophic stupidity, cosmic-level nonsense, or aggressively misplaced confidence that it feels like your mouth is reversing through time, undoing human evolution one syllable at a time. 2. When someone talks so much garbage that reality glitches, Mercury goes into retrograde out of self-defense, and the universe files a noise complaint. 3. A linguistic war crime performed using the mouth (aka the “cakehole”), typically accompanied by unwarranted opinions, loud wrongness, or the refusal to shut the fuck up.
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