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Will tell you he’s “not ready for anything serious,” then text you [good morning], beautiful for six weeks straight. Knows everyone at every party but somehow has no photos older than 3 months (because he deleted them with the ex). Usually found in the wild holding iced coffee and eye contact longer than the law allows. Possesses a dangerous mix of charm, 3-day stubble, and “I don’t do [relationships]” energy. Warning label: May cause [emotional whiplash], loss of self-respect, and temporary delusions of being “the one to change him.” Consult your group chat before proceeding.
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