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The post-Millennial generation alternative to breastfeeding, steeped in much ongoing legal, moral, ethical, and religious controversy. It is thought to be a logical and direct outcome of the [feminist movement] with most of its practitioners being stay-at-home fathers of the so-called “beta-male” persuasion.” It is exactly as it sounds: using the testicles instead of the chesticles to deliver life-sustenance to the burgeoning infant, while providing a release to the parents (the obvious tension release from the father, and the release from the bondage of “trad” motherhood for the die-hard feminist.) The most beautiful symbiosis.
Studies show that shaftmilk is as nutritious as breastmilk in 100/100 of cases (see NAMBLA Journal of Medical Research, Vol. 1, $.50) and combats anxiety, depression, herpes in dogs, but does not cure dick breath. Shaftfeeding can also be [accomplished] through the anus or vagina, where it is also known as cockfeeding or “chasing the [financial advisor]’s pet tadpole.”

Currently illegal in all 50 US states, but probably legal in Trudeau’s Canada.

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