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Cartism, otherwise known as Automobile Spectrum Disorder, occurs when at least three of the following behaviours are manifested in an individual. 1. Inability to engage in [conversation] without redirecting discussion toward cars, engines, or related topics. 2. Compulsive [identification] of passing vehicles by make, model, trim, and wheel options, often to the bewilderment of peers 3. Excessive accumulation of trivia concerning horsepower, torque, and obscure production years. 4. Emotional distress when confronted with topics unrelated to vehicles. 5. [Uncontrollable] urge to compare every life event to a car metaphor (“She’s high-maintenance, like a BMW M5”).
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