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A legendary, well-seasoned human who has transcended the age of retirement and entered the rare realm of "collecting [social security] in three different centuries." Easily identified by her battle-hardened Life Alert necklace (worn like a war medal), a walker outfitted with [tennis balls] so fresh they smell like Wimbledon, and a subscription service that delivers said balls monthly—because style and traction matter when you're cruising at 0.3 mph. May [spontaneously] break into tales that begin with "Back in my day..." and end three hours later with a Werther’s Original.
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