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Beck Yates
noun
/beck yayts/

A [walking red flag] wrapped in a mullet and bad decisions. Often described as “6’4 of why,” Beck Yates is the human version of stepping in something wet while wearing socks. He doesn’t walk—he stomps—because subtlety isn’t an option when your feet are built like clown shoes and your nose could cut glass.

Known to communicate in screeches, grunts, and unsolicited comments about your “aura,” Beck somehow radiates both gym bro energy and lost [substitute teacher] vibes. He’s got the fashion sense of a kid who lost a bet at Tractor Supply Co. and the dietary habits of a raccoon with a protein goal.

Attempts to grow a mustache have been ongoing since the dawn of time, with results best described as “legally invisible.” Has strong opinions about chalk that no one asked for, and carries himself like [the main character] in a movie no one would watch twice.

If you hear guitar shredding in the distance and catch the faint scent of motor oil and chicken rice, it's already too late. You've entered the Beck Zone™.

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