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1. A master manipulator in disguise — makes you feel like the center of the universe while juggling side quests in other girls’ DMs. 2. A chronic cheater with the emotional depth of a teaspoon and the loyalty of a Wi-Fi signal in a basement. 3. Gaslights you into thinking you’re crazy, then plays victim when caught — all while standing confidently at a shaky 5’10” (on a good day, in Air Forces). 4. Will ruin your peace and still stalk your socials like you’re the one that got away. Spoiler: you are.
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