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If you were bestowed with the utmost privilege of beholding Bakr Baalbaki, you would instantly find yourself gazing upon the [transcendent] human form, a living embodiment of perfection. In fact, [one] might even refer to him as the "perfect cell." It's as though the entirety of virtues that mankind once desired have [crystallized] within the depths of his soul. You must watch in awe as the heavensent sunlight from above softens each and every sharpened contour on his handsome face. Delicately trace the pad of your thumb across the freckles scattered along his cheeks. Count each [individual] eyelash that cradles the mesmerizing molten hue of his big, brown eyes. The essence of his Versace cologne is otherworldly, as though the universe itself had conspired to forge a gentleman of such faultless grace. The sound of his voice caresses each word that falls from his lips with melodic grace, as if each syllable is a silken thread woven into the fabric of an angelic chorus. The [human race] has been graced with ears for the sole purpose of listening to him rapturously muse over legos, dinosaurs, pokemon, anime and [video games]. Bakr is considered the culmination of all that is noble and exquisite, a sonnet of celestial beauty poised at the apex of human potential. If you know a Bakr, hold him in the warmth of your embrace and never let go. Unless we are referring to MY dearest Bakr. In that case, he’s all mine.

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