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Williams Baptist University is a four-year college in Walnut Ridge Arkansas. Also known as [WBU], is often referred to as the Harvard of Walnut Ridge. The dining hall’s "Weekend Pasta" and "[Chicken Surprise]" have been surprising people for years. The dorm rooms? Quaintly prison-sized. The Wi-Fi? Almost good enough to load Netflix if you squint hard enough. The whole place runs on Jesus, [chicken strips], and sheer denial about having real-world responsibilities. Parties? More like board games and an 8:30 bedtime. Wi-Fi’s so slow it [practically] sends emails by carrier pigeon, and “wild night” means a trip to Walmart (if you can find a ride). Want to go out? Good luck—“out” is the gas station ten minutes away. The town closes at sunset, and if you thought Greek life meant wild parties, here it just means Bible study groups named after the alphabet. By senior year, you’ll know everyone on campus, including that random campus squirrel you’ve named Frank. Welcome to WBU—where your social life is as quiet as the library on a Sunday morning!

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