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The manifestation of every Republican's wet dream combined with the no-nonsense, [fundamentalist Christian] values of the Salem witch trials, all done under the fanciful banner of high school speech and debate. During a season, a three-day cult ceremony will commence [in the basement] of whatever Baptist [community college] they begged long enough. This is then mixed in with an all-day event where nametagged students will one by one march into a classroom in front of a sleep-deprived, partially drugged group of adults to determine who can say Jesus the most times in 5 - 10 minutes. By the 8th time, it will either be the best advertisement for birth control ever or a display of a hopeful future, regardless the adults can only pick a handful of students to advance to the final round to discover who is the true accident child. After doing this a student will be ready to change the world and be the model ambassador the NCFCA always knew you could be (unless you were a democrat, nihilist, or funny, which probably means you got [kicked out] already). Typically the NCFCA's men, if they aren't working as congressional interns are likely spamming their suicide notes on an incel Reddit forum. The women of the NCFCA become benevolent homemakers, usually cosplaying as a trad wife with a wooden spoon in one hand and Adderall pills in the other, but this is all in submission to her husband, who happens to also be her youth pastor who's waited for her to turn 18 for the last 4 years of high school.

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