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During sex one must act the whole time like they are in an episode of Baywatch. Things to do in order to be [effective] at this include - * Running in slow-mo to the bed * Actually fucking in slow mo * Stopping midsex for a muscle posedown with a mirror * Demanding to be refered to as "The Hoff" during sex * Oiling oneself before and [after sex], and if possible during. * Sticking your dick far up her ass, claiming you are probing for any nuclear devices if she complains. * Come on her face, say its good sunblock and then highlight [the dangers] of skin cancer
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