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A serious syndrome that can cause people to be charged with assault if the individual is seen in public without a leash. Symptoms include: Touching people randomly while squatting as if taking a shit (occasionally pushes own head into the victim's chest); having tics similar to tourettes syndrome that causes the individual to say 'Do you want to grapple?'; acoutsic (verbal) stimuli bypass their central nervous system so that telling them to 'stop' doesn't register inside this individual's mind; having withdrawal symtoms if a dusty blanket within a 5 mile radius is not sniffed; unable to go to sleep without waking the whole neighbourhood with his nose rubbing and sniffing; unable to go two seconds without biting the middle finger knuckle and rubbing it against the top lip; verbally mentions when they are angry, tending to say 'I am angry now' instead of expressing the emotion; may have a bald ass head which you can slap and make a satisfying noise.

If you spot an individual with a bald ass egg head that has Shoheb Syndrome, please avoid at all costs, especially at night. Call the police immediately the second they mention the word 'grapple' and run as far from the vicinity as possible.

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