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You were my favorite person in times of hard pain, and low low, my hype, my little big secret lover, someone I was looking to spend time with, you made everything to make me smile and still do, which I ap|preciate because it's not easy right now, but you also put me down so many times, made me doubt my sanity, me, who I am, this fuckin' life. Today, when I was standing in front of that door, reading, I had to ask myself 100 times, are you sure this is real? That he even exists? Are you sure this is not some kind of trauma related response from your brain, what if you're actually going crazy? What if it's just your imagination? I never doubt my sanity like this, never thought I could be this level crazy, and then I saw the soda dose and something broke a little somewhere inside. That's when I decided to leave because this can't be true. So I'm choosing to live it that way, because I can't go on like this, but if you're actually real, I just want you to know that you are a great guy, even if you don't believe it, you shouldn't doubt your looks, cause only superficial people choose other based just on that. And the more you learn about someone, and how they are, you see them as most beautiful people out there and you don't care what others think, beauty is in the eyes, in the heart, in kindness and appreciation and love. You have all of them, trust yourself a little bit more, don't put yourself down like that, because you don't deserve it.

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