Customize - Urban Dictionary Store

Pro Customization

Create unique products with your own words and definitions

Preview

Personalize Your Design

Your Word

Your Definition

Identification: Guatemalan Mantises (guat mantids) are among the nastiest hood rats found in the general population. Adults range from 5 to 6 ft long, are dark, & usually brown, or [yellowish] (jaundice-drug or alcohol use). The females have big boobs & big front arms consisting of long jagged nails to attack sexual competition & random hoes. The male tends to be tatted, drunk & high on drugs. The vernacular/tone of this mantis consists of yelling & belligerence. Their large heads can rotate about 180 degrees & have large, bulging eyes. The term “Praying” comes from a common occurrence of vomiting on the weekends.

Lookalikes: Guat Mantids are not distinctive & can be confused with other mantids such as the Mexican & Puerto Rican variety. But the Guat genus is far more lazy, violent & volatile than it’s [Mexican cousin], relating closer to its Puerto Rican relative.

Life Cycle: The Guat genus does not typically live a long life. The males succumb to gang violence, drug overdoses, & domestic abuse. The female tends to live longer than the male. It drains the lifeblood, bank accounts & credit cards of its mate slowly, & instead of decapitating it’s mate like other mantises, it’s aggressive & [confrontational] to the rest of the mantis population, further alienating its mate.

Habitat: [Unfortunately], infestations of Guat Mantids are found throughout N. America, but you can primarily find them at terrible bars, clubs, & the streets. They lurk [in the shadows] waiting for prey to arrive.

Text fits

Menu

Pro Customization

Preview

Personalize Your Design

Shopping Assistant