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Crofton academy, Wakefield this is a very special school serving the villages of Sharlston, Streethouse occasionally children from Crofton attend. Although they are terrorised by the streethousers and often fear for their lives. Muggings and kidnapping in the corridors are rife, shoes and water bottles are often stolen. The teachers are oblivious to the mafia gangs, all being of a narcissistic type, they are to busy strutting around checking their own reflection in the windows. Blazers are compulsory to give the air of organisation, smart children mean good grades said the head. Grades are not great, with a whole host of narcissistic teachers the only topics the teachers excel in are themselves. The children that excel are those that deal green, going on to be mastermind crack dealers. The teachers are all extremely proud of themselves, holding yearly top teacher Oscars. Parents are banned from complaining and only complements are accepted. Parents who complain are reported to social services for insanity. Ofsted inspectors are blinded by the charm of the narcissistic teachers, giving a excellent grade every year unaware of the gun smuggling and crystal meth laboratory disgused as a science laboratory. The meth lab is extremely profitable with exports going as far as Istanbul.

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