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Finlay McLachlan, also known as ‘Seal’, is a [morbidly obese] man who has been sighted around the Garstang and Inskip area molesting local dogs, leaving them completely paralised [in the back] legs. He is also renoun for singing ‘War’ by Edwin Starr preventing [the great war] of Garstang and Inskip in 1736. Finlay was famous, making local headlines after destroying several local dry cleaners with his shit-soaked cargo shorts, destroying them in a temper tantrum after the workers refused to handle the diarrhoea drenched clothing.
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