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malyssa is the coolest smartest funniest person ever. she is an expert softball player, an endurance streamer and a professional beef ghostwriter. she is a responsible sush parent and active snapchat streak participant. she is kind and thoughtful, the kind of friend who sets an alarm for 3 in the morning to wish you good luck on a boob job, she is the best friend anyone could ever ask for. such a good friend the universe will put her at least one state away so you don't spend all day in her living room.
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