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“We can’t tell you the pay scale for this job because we are well aware that this position pays low across the entire country, however, we will make it $0.05 above the average of all jobs [across the board] so we can refer to it as competitive. [That’s right], this salary is so competitive that we’re not even gonna tell you what it is. Please apply for this position of our dying company so we can contribute to your sad depressed life and assist you in wanting to put a shotgun [in your mouth].”
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