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When one approaches a [scrumptiously] gauged ear, and asks the gaugee if they would be willing to [participate] in the sacred cheeto hooping sacrifice. Once the sacrifice cheeto has been selected from the [bottom of the bag], the cheeto will be probed into the gauged lobe. The cheeto recipient must enthusiastically bite at minimum 50% of sacrifice cheeto through the gauge. Bonus points: When a couple whispers sweet nothings into the gaugee’s ear. Small nibble optional.
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