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A very rare marsupial found exclusively in the area surrounding Greenville, North Carolina. Teesh are known to eat non-food items such as rocks, dirt, clothing, condoms, rubber bands, or string. Teesh are also known for their smell. The smell is extremely pungent, and resembles a combination of rotten eggs, doo-doo butter, old cabbage, goat cheese, gym socks, mildew, and deer piss. The Teesh has no true niche in its [environment], it is simply a scavenger and a drifter, usually resting on a foregin couch before arising at night to feed. The National Wildlife Federation has put the Teesh on its list of proctected species and asks any [individual] who comes across a Teesh to return it to the National Teesh Wrangler, Mr. [Daniel Thomas] Bricker of Greenville.
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