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If you have typed this you have already exhausted all other options trying to find a pattern that has not existed for no other reason other than that you are [EXTREMELY bored]. I am writing this to let [you know that] you are not the first. Not because I'm comforting you that you are not alone in your boredom, but because I am extremely competitive and you lost.

Now [because you are] bored you will be fine in listening to my story, which I am writing because I too am bored beyond humanly possible.

[One] time there was a kid (definitely not me) who found a spider web between two trees that were around 3 feet apart. Being a child who is 3 feet themselves and terrified of spiders I left it alone until my dad came home. Later, I heard him from afar and ran to tell him. I ran straight through the web and screamed at the top of my lungs, as all objects and animals around me trembled. My dad, who happened to already know of the spider web, started laughing because he just knew what happened without even seeing it.

Thank you for reading my story that definitely never happened.

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