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A condition caused by prolonged absence from a woman named Maria. Typical symptoms include loss of appetite, loss of motivation, mood swings, insomnia, and frequent texting to Maria. Symptoms appear within 2-3 days of separation and worsen as the lack of Maria persists. Symptoms are more severe when the Maria you know is smart, beautiful, athletic, and you share an emotional connection. This is a lifelong condition. The only cure is to spend time with Maria again.
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