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The [holy trinity] is a trio of the most powerful people on Earth. God, better known by her fake name, McKena, was the first being alive and is therefore [the creator] of [everything]. Pray to her enough and she might just grant you your most ambitious of desires. Jesus, better known by his fake name, *redacted* Pham, is the spawn of God and can usually be found teaching a class of ungrateful high school students who are embarrassingly bad at science. He is less powerful than God, but do not [underestimate] his abilities (especially his abilities to lower your grade). The holy spirit, better known as *redacted* Manente, is an invisible presence that possesses the body of a bald, middle-aged white man to act as the best teacher Sage Creek High School has ever known. Because God appointed the other two to be her helpers on Earth, they can all be found roaming the campus of SCHS. This being said, do not attempt to interact with God unless she has declared you as one of her angels. Also, do not attempt to interact with any of her angels because they most likely do not want to talk to you.
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