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A hat to be worn by only the sexiest of mutha fuckas! If worn, you must advertise with "I'll make your fantasy cum true" or a "Fah-Nasty cum true!," This must also occur with a picture of your butt-ass naked sexy self while also covering your Johnson with something sexy and inconspicuous, like a hammer or a 23" length horse condom.

For example, you must imagine yourself riding on a glorious (photo-shopped) horse. Cause it's fucking cool and you're wearing a Bass Pro Hat. Just bear in mind; however, that YOU are the Stallion here, NOT that ugly horse. You also can pretend to fake rub your ass against that furry, hard back. It reminds me of when I was a Bear...

Anyway, when you're oiled up like a slice of New York pepperoni and naked all the way down to your fuckin sexy-ass filled-to-the-rim with hot sexy maleness of a pinky toe, you don that BASS MUTHA FUCKIN PRO Shop hat! Suck it bitches! No really, you can. For a fee. Check out my Facebook page special this week "FAH-NASTYs do cum true! Cum to my mom's basement, where I'll pamper and rub my olive oil covered sexiness to completion." *Available only this Wednesday at 10pm. Special $9.99! Friends and family discount $7.99. PS Wear a wig for $20 discount.

Then, swing your Johnson to the other side of the horse (or just wear a tube shock to be photshopped out). Look at the camera like you're the biggest, baddest, sexist piece of hot steaming Man in the land! Then smile and say, "I'm One Sexy Mutha Fucka!"

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