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Those who have it, despise it. Those lacking it, desire it. This paradox that has, for many years, consumed our nation, is none other than BUTTFLAKES. What are buttflakes, you ask? [Historians] have traced this common characteristic back to the early days of [equestrian] training. Horse riders, after a long day of arduous training, have been shocked to find none other than peeling, dried skin on their buttocks. Common side effects are a sporadic snap, crackle and pop of the buttocks upon impact with jeans, and other such materials. Scientists have come to identify this characteristic as [butt dandruff], or as modern day society has deemed it, BUTTFLAKES.
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