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The time of year when we celebrate Dwah Day! [The month of May]! The true, non-commercial version of June, a.k.a "Pride Month" The Chad version of Pride Month that I invented! The Rules of the Dwahlidays: 1. Don't think or talk about the holiday itself, just act really festive and excited about it! 2. Forget that Christmas ever existed. 3. Every time you see a fire hydrant, KARATE KICK IT!!! 4. Every time you think about the holiday without expressing it, punish yourself by either singing The Song or drawing those two bad guys from the Unikitty show. No reason... We don't talk about that =) 5. Every time you see a bottle of school glue, put it on your hands and peel it off. 6. If you don't follow all these rules, you'll fall into a pit into T-Mobile. The only [way] you can escape is if you sing 1 of 13 songs written in an [unintelligible] font, or if you buy a 1000$ cell phone. If not, then you'll get devoured by the cashier. 7. Respect everyone in the LGBTQ+ community. This holiday revolves around rule-following and self-expression! 8. The last and MOST IMPORTANT rule! DO NOT QUESTION THE RULES OF THE HOLIDAY! It's [supposed to] be stupid and nonsense. It's like Christmas but instead of Santa bringing you presents if [you're good], it's about following rules no matter how dumb they sound!
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