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Women are beauty, women are grace, women are imminent doom. A woman is a swimsuit left out [on the lawn] after playing with the sprinkler and then being run over by the lawn mower. Women are the feeling of your leg hair flowing [in the breeze]. A woman is when you walk around the corner of a building on a windy day and get SMACKED in the face with nature. [Have you ever] seen a video of a raccoon receiving a piece of [cotton candy]? That’s a woman. Women are robust, women are industrious, women like ferb and phineas. Women are gaé. A woman is an orca in high tide. Women are not tiaras, women are not crowns, women are the aching hands of the metal smith. Women are mauve, but never chartreuse. Some fan fictions believe that Jesus was the king of kings, Paul blart was the king of queens, queen was queen. Who was the [queen of kings]? Shania Twain. Ordering something online and realizing you already have it, that’s a woman. Women are *high note*. I’m sweating right now and it’s because of women. Women are the magazine subscription that you can’t cancel. If you ever kept repeating the right answer to a question that nobody heard, you might be a woman. Women are the earth, women are the sky (the sky is a lesbian). Women are angels, women are life givers, women are life takers. Women are everything. A women is a eucalyptus leaf. You can always tell a woman by her big, juicy, ꧁𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦꧂. RESPECT HER. Most importantly, a woman is whatever she wants to be in her wildest nightmare.

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