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Elusive and special, the Zoe is found in rare and select middle schools, you must befriend her, give her a heartfelt parting gift and wait for around 18 years. Then and only then can you catch a glimpse of the gorgeousness that is a Zoe.

She will be your bestfriend and the person you want to spend all your time with. If you can cope with a few weird habits like drinking hot water and the occasional mid-meal desert, having a Zoe love you is scientifically accepted as the coolest thing in the Universe.

Funny and clever, a wild Zoe is not to be messed with. Can appear harmless at first but don't let her beauty and angelic features fool you. Her patented "croches-pattes" are devastatingly effective, combining it sometimes with a little snow throwing can really unsettle even the most powerful.

Once you learn to accept these techniques though, you'll be rewarded with the tender [understanding] that you've met someone truly special, that will love you and support you even if you make mistakes and are often wrong. And [the realization] that meeting a Zoe, if you [play your cards right], is the last person you need to meet. Because all other creatures become frivolous.

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