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Vladimir Putin's Premiereship team, the Moscow Blues, otherwise known as Chelsea. He owns them through Roman Abramovich, who claims to be the caretaker of this historic club, which is an outright lie because 1) Putin owns it by proxy and 2) Chelsea had no history before Putin bought one for them.

They currently had their assets frozen because their real owner decided that while he owns Chelski, he really wants a team with a real history, so while he's trying to annex Ukraine he's also trying to steal Dynamo Kyiv. When this whole mess is over the FA should send Chelski to Moscow (or maybe St Petersburg) where they belong and they can establish a rivalry with Spartak. That's if they don't get relegated to the Championship (where they really, really belong). Without being able to buy players every year they will eventually be in League One, they haven't developed a player in decades and will not be able to start now.

95% of their supporters have only been fans since the early 2000s and get all their football knowledge from FIFA video games; the other 5% have been deluded into thinking they are other than a crap club that would still be crap if it weren't for big daddy Putin.

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