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Sock gnomes are an ancient folk who hail from Germany. They sneak into people’s houses and steal their socks. Only the left ones though. The purpose of this is to wear them as hats. Its very [necessary] to their survival. Other common names for them are as follows; hat people, helmet folk, hut luete, and sockenzwerg. They refer to themselves as hat people because socks don’t exist to them. The big people are the crazy stupid giants. When the big peole come, the sock gnomes riot. Their [weapon of choice] is the [pitchfork] which they ise to stab people right in between the leg bone and the knee cap. This will bring their enemies to their knees, but not for long because of the excruciating pain. Then they fall on their faces and the sock gnomes tie them down with little pieces of string. The sock gnomes are also [brilliant] engineers. They actually [invented] the leg warmer, the back massager, cheez itz, tom holland, and the tenor saxaphone. In sock gnome legend, there is a messaih who will come wearing 100% wool socks on their head that are also waterproof. This person is destined to be ruler of all sock gnomes. Sock gnomes to this day hold a bitter grudge against the big people because of the rednpointy hatted stereotype they have created.

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