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Maddie is a an actual donkey. She looks like a donkey. She smells like a donkey. [Everything] about her is donkey like. She has been known to eat [small children] that are unaccompanied around Cremorne. If you see her in the street do not walk, RUN away. Please report any sightings to the proper authorities. If she approaches you and tries to talk answer in slow simple responses as that is all she can comprehend. She is... como se dice? "Not the brightest tool [in the shed]." MADELEINE SUCKS!
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