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A John is [your best friend] with extras. You spend a lot of time together (nearly every chance you get), plan programs together, occasionally grab a beer or two and talk about important topics (like your mutual hatred for capitalism). He's fun, outgoing, [intelligent] and caring but also the biggest asshole you've ever met. Everyone thinks you two are together but they are completely wrong. It's a symbiotic [relationship] because both of you are an emotional wreckage.
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