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the best place in the entire world. on fire island new york, this is a tiny town with the best people. there is [absolutely nothing] to do here in the best way. most people spend their days going from the beach, to the playground, to the market and those are the only three things in town. the adult men’s softball league is taken very seriously and all the real locals attend all the games. the [drinking age] here is only 14, and everyone uses the same overpriced dealer so you can trust your weed! all the real locals attended saltaire day camp, went to doctor bob for splinters, and were yelled at by the bay lifeguards. got a problem? post it on simply saltaire. this [facebook group] has been known to save countless lost children. saltaire is the happiest place on earth.

of course, there are rules
no shoes ever
always be wearing a bathing suit
bike everywhere
the bike cannot be new
go in the ocean
smoke as much as possible
the bay is gross
no tourists allowed
kismet is scary
learn how to sail
wear your sunscreen!!!

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