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In Oakville, a [mystical creature] exists known only to the locals as JAR JAR, a large African-Canadian male subject who enjoys consuming human spines, and harassing, old help-less men with patty hats and no ways to defend themself. He rules over the kingdom of Hopedale with an iron fist, and sends roaming death squads (known as the "Hopedale Kr3w")to terrorize [the Red Hat] Society (old women and Korean War veterans). He is the [illegitimate] son of Erykah Badu and Jar Jar Binks, and this in turn caused him to father three glowing, white children with his sweatpant-wearing, dumb redneck of a white girl.
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