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Crew (krü) n. 1. a sport practiced in rowing boats where the participants willfully awake before dawn and run to practice where they spend one to two hours [sitting on] a hard wood seat and pull on oars to such a level as to cause their bodies to go into oxygen debt, resulting in the formation of [lactic acid] in their blood, which causes [substantial] pain and discomfort in all major muscle groups. This activity is usually performed twice a day in the name of fun, and is conducted under the demonic supervision of a person called "Coach" with the help of his trained servant named "Coxswain".
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